


bleed me

by petitlionhomme



Series: salvia plath [10]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Biting, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 07:23:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20385889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petitlionhomme/pseuds/petitlionhomme
Summary: A bit of a filler for the series but also, a little insight into how Eiji feels about not being able to always help Ash. // not proofread





	bleed me

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of a filler for the series but also, a little insight into how Eiji feels about not being able to always help Ash. // not proofread

“Fuck, Eiji, stop-“

Eiji dropped the blade down between Ash’s legs and watched him tense up, gripping Eiji’s thighs from where he lounged between his legs.

“I miss him, I miss him-“

Eiji shushed Ash gently, pressing a kiss to his eyebrow and then to his forehead, tilting his head back so that he could kiss down the bridge of his nose. 

The anniversary of Griffin’s death always hit the hardest. It was a day where Ash was either volatile with anger or sick with grief. 

Eiji did his best to ease the pain, he understood the loss now, he understood how much it could hurt. He thought of his sister’s own death often, in the nights when he couldn’t sleep, and the bite of the blade wouldn’t help.

He knew that Ash had killed something, he knew that Ash’s mental state was decaying more and more everyday but how could he stop it? How could he rid him of it all?

Fucking him only did so much, food was a temporary pleasure and he couldn’t even make it past four cuts before he was breaking, cracking along the edges.

Should he try suffocation? 

Eiji found that the feeling of nearly drowning cleared his head, especially after he claws up Ash’s arm in an attempt to get free. 

Maybe he’d prefer drugs, but those were as temporary as the meals and sex, Eiji had never felt so helpless, so worthless of Ash.

He was failing him. 

“Let me clean you up.” Eiji offered with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, his heart stuttering painfully when Ash didn’t respond to him.

The act of cleaning blood from the other’s thighs was always soothing, but tonight, it felt like a failure as the four deep cuts continued to bleed, no matter how much pressure was on them.

“I have to go buy gauze again, we’re all out.” Eiji explained when Ash glanced between him and the towel that was still pressed to his skin. 

“Did we use it all? I could’ve swore we just bought some.”

A mundane conversation about all the ways they harmed themselves, about all of the precautions they took to avoid something like this.

“What was your brother like?”

Ash inhaled softly, but sharp. It was under his breath and with how close Eiji was, it sounded so loud in the quiet room. 

“He was sweet, an army man..” Ash gasped when Eiji pressed a kiss to the wounds, a mild sting flashing through him when the older of the two bit down, and drew blood.

“God, I bet he would have loved to meet you.”

Blood flooded Eiji’s mouth, ruining his progress with slowing Ash’s blood flow but giving him a reaction that wasn’t tearful. He swallowed the blood, licked across the wounds and looked up at his boyfriend through his eyelashes.

The blood stained his lips like lipstick, Ash thought he was beautiful.

“Kiss me.”

-

Visiting his brother’s “grave”, Ash was reminded heavily of the bite marks and bruising that was forming around his cuts, the drag of his jeans against sensitive flesh.

The grave was really just a stone with Griffin’s name carved into it, Ash wanted to have something to visit every year since he knew going to Cape Cod wasn’t an option.

The feelings, however, confused him. 

Pain from the bite. 

Pain from his chest.

Pleasure coursing and mixing with the pain, with the pain in his thigh and the pain in his chest, until he was in an awkward and twisted middle ground.

Kneeling down, Ash smiled at the stone and tried to ignore the sparks of whatever he was feeling. 

“Griffin, let me tell you about Eiji..”


End file.
